We talked about children's psychology and their future love or marriage lives. Some of our friends claimed that there should be a legal interference in a situation like divorce if there is a child because the children from divorced families may have more problems than the ones' from considered as normal families which are "not divorced" .
Well, I can't agree with that idea. First of all, every relationship has its own problems and fights, can be solved. In marriage, we are talking about two different people, who carry some common reasons to get married, having a life together. Living with another person, can be very hard, it could be successful and could not be. Divorce doesn't means ( at least not all of them ) that there is a cruel, bad, full with mistakes person and a victim. Marriage can be more and more different than having a relationship with someone. It doesn't go, it doesn't.
Now let's say, There is a couple who has a child and they have big fights all the time, do you think being exposed to big fights all the time is more healtier for the child rather than divorce and live with peace? Which is more unhealty for his or her psychology?
If there is a woman who always ignores her husband's mistakes, if there is a man who always shut his eyes to his wife's wrong attitudes, and there is always a sacrifies, what would you do? Is that the model you want to show your child? Not being independent, not seek his or her own right in a relationship, not emphatize, absorb all the neglets and settle what he or she has not looking for right...
Yes, divorce effects children, but If an educated or concerned parents can handle it very well. It is not that scary.
And finally, if i have the right to get married legally, I should have for divorce. My decisions only concerns me, and every parents wants best for their children.
I think your ideas are very clear and convincing; i did not look at this issue from such perspective before. I think people have some stereotypes that divorce affects negatively children's psychology. Why do people have such thoughts?
YanıtlaSilidil, i was looking forward to read your latest blog. it can be seen that your ideas come from some experiences and it makes your post reliable. let's come to deniz's question mark. To me, these kinds of streotypes have resulted from parent's attitudes before and after they divorce. As idil said in her post, if divorced parents know how to behave properly, then problems can be minimized. After divorce, the point is while parents are aware of their responsibilities to children, life goes well for each member.
YanıtlaSilExactly Cansu, and Deniz your question was why do people have such thoughts?. Well (ofcourse in my opinion) people just love to classify people. They love to create an "other" because they want to feel like "normal" or "superior". That's why we have a "bad,evil character" and a "pure,innocent character" in movies. There is lot of reason behind someone's crime, but label them murderer without any search or emphaty. Soicety's approach to divorced people,children from divorced families or physically ugly people and etc., is based on their psychological desire to make themselves superior and also primitive.
YanıtlaSil