Tabu: Children from " the divorced families"

We talked about children's psychology and their future love or marriage lives. Some of our friends claimed that there should be a legal interference in a situation like divorce if there is a child because the children from divorced  families may have more problems than the ones' from considered as normal families which are "not divorced" .


Well, I can't agree with that idea. First of all, every relationship has its own problems and fights, can be solved. In marriage, we are talking about two different people, who carry some common reasons to get married, having a life together. Living with another person, can be very hard, it could be successful and could not be. Divorce doesn't means ( at least not all of them ) that there is a cruel, bad, full with mistakes person and a victim. Marriage can be more and more different than having a relationship with someone. It doesn't go, it doesn't. 


Now let's say, There is a couple who has a child and they have big fights all the time, do you think being exposed to big fights all the time is more healtier for the child rather than divorce and live with peace? Which is more unhealty for his or her psychology? 


If there is a woman who always ignores her husband's mistakes, if there is a man who always shut his eyes to his wife's wrong attitudes, and there is always a sacrifies, what would you do? Is that the model you want to show your child? Not being independent, not seek his or her own right in a relationship, not emphatize, absorb all the neglets and settle what he or she has not looking for right... 


Yes, divorce effects children, but If an educated or concerned parents can handle it very well. It is not that scary.
And finally, if i have the right to get married legally, I should have for divorce. My decisions only concerns me, and every parents wants best for their children.     

Do marriage discriminate based on gender?

When I was commenting on one of my friends comment, another idea came to my mind. What marriage means for a woman? Does it have positive or negative effect?

My point is not the reflect the picture of working husband and the wife who cooks who cleans and so on. My point is as a legal right, what marrige requires, what changes with marriage?
For instance, when we get married, as woman, we took our husbands last name. And also, we transfer our husbands family. Which means, the place we come from is no longer our hometown and the family we come from is no longer our family. My question is why we transfer another family, if marriage means establishing a new family on our own? And why we can't have the value to maintain our names (i am not talking about using two last names, i am talking about the whole family (kütük) ). Why man are the body of trees and woman are the branches?

I am not against love, againts man or marriage. But in my opinion some people are trying to create a sense of woman and marriage helps this weak picture of woman.

Another example, if a married couple is both working for government, wıves goes to place where their husbands assigned except for woman judges (only).

There are lots of examples like those. I am asking both man and woman friends, what do you feel about this?

Marriage?

Why do we get married? We get married because we do not want to spend our Sundays alone. After a certain age like 30, most of the people marry for some reasons which are called love, religion, requirements and so on. For instance some get marry because they having sex with someone is a sin in the case of religion or some man get marry to be able to label another people with his last name like that is an achievement, some woman only love the idea of wearing the fascinating white dress and some need woman to look after themselves like a free servant, and some woman need a man to feel being protected like a free bodyguard. People may have different perceptions to marriage, can have different procedure in marriage but as a result people get married because they need another person. Loneliness may be bearable but when Sundays come, everyone choose to be with their family which they build on their own. However, in today’s world, people are may feeling less alone than before because they have computers so that they can spend time with their social networks rather than husbands wives or children.