Tabu: Children from " the divorced families"

We talked about children's psychology and their future love or marriage lives. Some of our friends claimed that there should be a legal interference in a situation like divorce if there is a child because the children from divorced  families may have more problems than the ones' from considered as normal families which are "not divorced" .


Well, I can't agree with that idea. First of all, every relationship has its own problems and fights, can be solved. In marriage, we are talking about two different people, who carry some common reasons to get married, having a life together. Living with another person, can be very hard, it could be successful and could not be. Divorce doesn't means ( at least not all of them ) that there is a cruel, bad, full with mistakes person and a victim. Marriage can be more and more different than having a relationship with someone. It doesn't go, it doesn't. 


Now let's say, There is a couple who has a child and they have big fights all the time, do you think being exposed to big fights all the time is more healtier for the child rather than divorce and live with peace? Which is more unhealty for his or her psychology? 


If there is a woman who always ignores her husband's mistakes, if there is a man who always shut his eyes to his wife's wrong attitudes, and there is always a sacrifies, what would you do? Is that the model you want to show your child? Not being independent, not seek his or her own right in a relationship, not emphatize, absorb all the neglets and settle what he or she has not looking for right... 


Yes, divorce effects children, but If an educated or concerned parents can handle it very well. It is not that scary.
And finally, if i have the right to get married legally, I should have for divorce. My decisions only concerns me, and every parents wants best for their children.     

Do marriage discriminate based on gender?

When I was commenting on one of my friends comment, another idea came to my mind. What marriage means for a woman? Does it have positive or negative effect?

My point is not the reflect the picture of working husband and the wife who cooks who cleans and so on. My point is as a legal right, what marrige requires, what changes with marriage?
For instance, when we get married, as woman, we took our husbands last name. And also, we transfer our husbands family. Which means, the place we come from is no longer our hometown and the family we come from is no longer our family. My question is why we transfer another family, if marriage means establishing a new family on our own? And why we can't have the value to maintain our names (i am not talking about using two last names, i am talking about the whole family (kütük) ). Why man are the body of trees and woman are the branches?

I am not against love, againts man or marriage. But in my opinion some people are trying to create a sense of woman and marriage helps this weak picture of woman.

Another example, if a married couple is both working for government, wıves goes to place where their husbands assigned except for woman judges (only).

There are lots of examples like those. I am asking both man and woman friends, what do you feel about this?

Marriage?

Why do we get married? We get married because we do not want to spend our Sundays alone. After a certain age like 30, most of the people marry for some reasons which are called love, religion, requirements and so on. For instance some get marry because they having sex with someone is a sin in the case of religion or some man get marry to be able to label another people with his last name like that is an achievement, some woman only love the idea of wearing the fascinating white dress and some need woman to look after themselves like a free servant, and some woman need a man to feel being protected like a free bodyguard. People may have different perceptions to marriage, can have different procedure in marriage but as a result people get married because they need another person. Loneliness may be bearable but when Sundays come, everyone choose to be with their family which they build on their own. However, in today’s world, people are may feeling less alone than before because they have computers so that they can spend time with their social networks rather than husbands wives or children. 

Final words for TV, Reality TV, Media and gender

This term in English 101, we talked about Television, the shows on television, media , gender roles in society, what it mean to be a men or women. Ofcourse there are man and woman differences, and maybe some differences should be there to keep the society in order at some level, ofcourse as humans, sometimes we don't want to do something pushes our brains' level, we only want to do somethings are fun. Ofcourse we need to spend time on things that have no power to improve us intellectually. We need media to be able to aware of what is going on around the world. And ofcourse everyone wants to be happy about what they see in the mirror.

But ;
I am concered at the point where we loose control ourselves and some other powers takes the power from us. Some people use those tiny elements, which are actually not if you let them, to keep us busy. to create a world which they want to be, to change who you are. At least, as university students, we should aware of those things and try to shape our life as we want not with imposed ideas. At least we should realize how much time we waste only looking pictures of our friends on facebook. My father said one day, "I was at colloge and all my friends were gone to visit their parents, I read the whole "Crime and Punishment" . Then I started to think about what we are doing in our free times. Every generation has less idea about the incidents in the world.
Let's make a difference and not be one of them.

Reality TV

CSI:Crime Scene Investigation is one my favourite TV shows. There were an episode which subjected TV's Reality Shows in America and how they can get too real. There were some people who make the reality show and I don't remember the exact name of it but It was like going to the end or death or something. It was an adventurest show and they are trying to "push the limits" to make TV viewers more excited in order to get high view rates. They tooked one man and they were in a helicopter. The eyes of the man is closed and they told him that we are at 15m hight and we are trowing you here, let's see how you can survive. In reality, they were only 1m height  but they did not tell the man and then man peed in his pants and then camera recorded it, they laught they made fun of him and etc. They trow him from the helicopter while he was crying, and they were laughing. And he died. It was only 1metre long but he was so scared that the had an hearth attact.
This was not a real story maybe. But this was the example of how Reality TV gets too real and how dangerous it can be.

People want to see other people's fights and problems and unhappiness. Those reality shows are based on these. I am wondering , when did we loose our humanity?

Being a men...

Those three TV actors are accepted as the most popular and most attractive ones in those days. It is both funny and tragic to realize their gestures and attitudes and the characters they play in TV series and movies. Those TV shows is probably the exact example of what Richard Wright subjected in his story "The Man Who Was Almost A Man". Just like that little adolescent boy, boys exposed to see those images of man who are always agrassive, tough, strong and most essentially engaged with violence.

 

 It is like smiling of a men is something inappropriate. I observed for a long time some of my male friends whose whole behavior are changing after thursdays which is the day one of those popular shows be showed. They sharply become more aggrasive, more prone to fight with other people and the way they look are more tough. The desire to hold the power is one of the most dangerous feeling of man that imposed to them by media. Labeling people like man, woman or Muslim,Cristian, African, Chinies, skinny, fat, loser, popular, tall shorth, beautiful, ugly, dividing them classes groups always have one purpose. Lets make brains busy so they could not realize what we are doing. 

I am not telling that media is always an enemy for mankind. But they have a huge effect on people and society and they basically shape our brains mostly in a bad way. 

I heard this sentence from a TV show and I think It was about the 80's political fights in Turkey : "Since were too busy with fighting each other, we did not have time to read and learn other people's ideas."

Do we need those labels?

You decide...

Beauty is changing all the time. They change fashion every year, so we don't like our clothes from last year, so we buy more and more. They earn money trough using our self-confidence. We feel like if we do not buy fashinable cloths, we don't fit in the society. Those feelings make us weaker, in order to avoid those weaknesses we buy more and more. Why help them to use us? Do you really want to be like the woman this picture. Being skinny is the fashion now. The more you get skinny the more you want to be skinny. Why we give up being healty to look beautiful? Is there any explanation to that the clothes we were wearing last year, seems ugly today? Those imposed ideas have serious consequences. A lot of people dies from anorexia every year. Do you really think that beauty is universal and inborn?